Guiding you to thriving
Articles to help you create the life you want.
Do you ever find yourself resisting or fighting with reality? This common practice is one of the most painful things we as humans do. When we face difficulty in life and want so desperately for things to be different, our resistance leads to a fight with reality. We all face circumstances that are out of our control and in this video I explain just that. Are you looking to combat these feelings of resistance? If so, I hope this video brings you clarity!
Read MorePeople-pleasing is a maladaptive tendency often developed at a young age. People-pleasers learn that by keeping other people happy, even at their own expense, they avoid conflict and stay safe in their social communities. The ultimate goal of most people-pleasers is to take the path of least resistance by meeting others' expectations, upholding their own likability.
However, disappointing others is an absolutely essential life skill. There is no way to go through life keeping everyone happy- it’s simply impossible.
So if disappointing others is inevitable, you might as well get comfortable with it and learn how to do it gracefully. This may sound like mission impossible, but it’s more achievable than you may think. Let’s jump in and learn how to get comfortable with- and even embrace- being a disappointment.
Read MoreIt's easy to see why so many of us take on people-pleasing behaviors: meeting other people's expectations means that in the short-term we avoid conflict, win approval, and are perceived by others as a good person.
In the long run, sacrificing your own well-being and self-care to keep the peace leads to mental health issues, anxious attachment, and low self-esteem. Plus, it hurts the very relationships you are trying to maintain.
Let's take a deeper look at people-pleasing behavior, and how catering to others actually makes it harder to have healthy relationships.
Read MoreOne of the trickiest things with people-pleasing is it can easily be disguised as a virtue. Being agreeable, generous (i.e. overgiving), and non-confrontational can make you seem likeable and easygoing to others.
But the reality is, people-pleasing is often just a tool to avoid facing your fear of rejection.
Read MoreAre you struggling with people-pleasing and looking to stop cold turkey? It’s not as easy as it seems! In this video I explain why stopping this behavior can be such a challenge and how I can help to combat all the negative feelings that come along with it!
Read MoreThe most important decision I have ever made was to simply stop beating myself up. Not so simple right? In this video, I explain how my inner thoughts began to shift and change to stop the bully in my mind. I cannot begin to explain how important this practice has been for my well-being. I firmly believe anyone can achieve this, watch to learn more!
Read MoreWe all experience life events that completely suck. In this video, I dive into processing negative emotions and how to best navigate life when things feel difficult. I share a self-reflection practice based upon my own personal experience to help you when experiencing negative emotions.
Read MoreOvercoming people-pleasing can be especially tricky when it comes to romantic relationships. We're taught that we should always put our partner's needs before our own. When you are constantly self-sacrificing, you no longer have anything left to give. Ultimately, relationships do require compromise. But compromise is not the same thing as people-pleasing. So how do you engage in healthy compromise without devaluing yourself and your own needs? Let's jump in.
Read MoreEveryone wants acceptance. We want to be ‘part of the group’, to fit in, to belong. It’s the way our brains are programmed; but when we don’t recognize the lengths we sometimes go to to be accepted, we can get into chronic, unhealthy people-pleasing.
Here are some warning signs to watch out for and strategies to nip them in the bud.
For us people-pleasers, it doesn’t matter what we want. All that matters is avoiding conflict. We ignore our own needs in an attempt to satisfy others.
Although people-pleasing might seem practical at first, it quickly spirals out of control. It stunts growth in all aspects of life, leaving you less than pleased.
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