Posts in People Pleasing
How to Disappoint People

People-pleasing is a maladaptive tendency often developed at a young age. People-pleasers learn that by keeping other people happy, even at their own expense, they avoid conflict and stay safe in their social communities. The ultimate goal of most people-pleasers is to take the path of least resistance by meeting others' expectations, upholding their own likability.

However, disappointing others is an absolutely essential life skill. There is no way to go through life keeping everyone happy- it’s simply impossible.

So if disappointing others is inevitable, you might as well get comfortable with it and learn how to do it gracefully. This may sound like mission impossible, but it’s more achievable than you may think. Let’s jump in and learn how to get comfortable with- and even embrace- being a disappointment.

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The Price of 'Keeping the Peace': Why People-Pleasing Doesn't Work

It's easy to see why so many of us take on people-pleasing behaviors: meeting other people's expectations means that in the short-term we avoid conflict, win approval, and are perceived by others as a good person.

In the long run, sacrificing your own well-being and self-care to keep the peace leads to mental health issues, anxious attachment, and low self-esteem. Plus, it hurts the very relationships you are trying to maintain.

Let's take a deeper look at people-pleasing behavior, and how catering to others actually makes it harder to have healthy relationships.

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4 Telltale Signs You're People-Pleasing

Everyone wants acceptance. We want to be ‘part of the group’, to fit in, to belong. It’s the way our brains are programmed; but when we don’t recognize the lengths we sometimes go to to be accepted, we can get into chronic, unhealthy people-pleasing.

Here are some warning signs to watch out for and strategies to nip them in the bud.


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Why Being a ‘People-Pleaser’ Pleases No One

For us people-pleasers, it doesn’t matter what we want. All that matters is avoiding conflict. We ignore our own needs in an attempt to satisfy others.

Although people-pleasing might seem practical at first, it quickly spirals out of control. It stunts growth in all aspects of life, leaving you less than pleased.

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